Behind the Masks
By Deanie
July 2001

SPOILER WARNING: Nothing much, just up through "Amends" (though this takes place before then)
RATING: PG-13
SUMMARY: Xander meets Cordelia's parents. Response to a Queen Cordy challenge.
FEEDBACK: Pretty please? To DeanieBTVS@aol.com
DISTRIBUTION: My site (www.lisacaps.com/voice/). All others please ask.

**

Xander looked at the mirror, then glanced at the clock. 7:00. Almost time to go. Tonight was the big night -- after months of dating, he was finally meeting Cordelia's parents. He gave another nervous glance at the mirror. He wanted to make a good impression on the high-class Chases, so once again he had Buffy pick out his clothes: tailored black slacks, a crisp white shirt, and a red sweater. Mrs. Summers had even taken pity on an incredibly nervous teenage boy and ironed the shirt for him.

One more look at the mirror. Did his hair look okay? This was ridiculous, being so nervous. I mean, why was he even trying? Xander Harris would never be good enough for their precious little princess. He wasn't a straight A student, a jock, or student body president. He didn't live in a mansion on snob hill or drive a brand-new convertible with vanity plates. His parents weren't doctors or lawyers…

Why was he even going through with this? They'd hate him on first sight. Sinking down on the bed, Xander tried to calm his breathing. This was for Cordy…

So, he took one last glance at the mirror. Adjusting his sweater and smoothing back his hair, he grabbed the car keys and headed out the door.

***

At the Chase home, Cordelia was beside herself. Xander was supposed to be coming over to meet her parents. He wasn't even here and it was already a disaster. Her mom was still in bed, "resting." It was 7:00 and her dad still wasn't home from the office. Leave it to her parents to insist on meeting her boyfriend and then not bother to show up for the meeting.

"He knew Xander was coming over tonight. Why couldn't he just be home for once," she muttered. Once again, another parental event destined to end in disaster. Looking in the mirror, she took a long, calming breath. On the bright side, she looked really good in her red dress. The silky fabric clung to her body in all the right places and the spaghetti straps showed off her toned shoulders and arms.

Slipping into her matching red pumps, she went to check on her mother. She knocked softly on the door of her mom's room. No response. Peering around the door, she saw her mom, sprawled out on the bed in her silk peignoir set, half under the covers. "Mom?" she called. A snore was the only response.

Cordelia sighed. She knew what that meant. Her mother wasn't going to meet Xander tonight. She wasn't going to meet anyone tonight. Walking into the room, she carefully removed her mother's slippers before tucking her into bed. She moved the pill bottle from the bed to the nightstand, setting it next to a glass of water. Her mom claimed the pills were for her "nerves." But how nervous could her mom be when she never got out of bed? What did she have to be nervous about?

Cordy turned out the light as she exited the room. She still had to put on her jewelry and brush her hair before Xander arrived.

***

7:25. Xander was actually early. < Wow! What a concept > he thought, parking his car in the driveway and nervously making his way up the walk. Up close the Chase mansion was a site to behold. Two stories of stone-front mansion with a half-dozen windows on each side of the front door. This place had to be three or four times the size of his parents' house.

His finger hesitated an inch from the doorbell. "What's the worse that can happen?" he asked himself. "Well, they could hate me, throw me out, forbid her to see me ever again, send her to boarding school in Switzerland." He stopped himself. "Okay, a lot of bad things could happen." But he had faced vampires, demons, and clowns…he could do this. They were just parents.

Taking a deep breath for courage, Xander rang the doorbell.

***

Cordelia was putting on her diamond tennis bracelet when the doorbell rang. She glanced at her slim gold watch. "He's early," she muttered. And it was the housekeeper's night off, so she would have to get the door. Cordelia quickly hurried out of her room and down the winding staircase.

Opening the large wooden door, she saw that Xander was even more nervous than she was.

"Hi!" he said with forced cheerfulness.

"Hi," Cordy said, opening the door wide to allow him to enter. "Come on in."

Xander had never been inside the Chase mansion. Marble floors with a statue in the entryway - no, the foyer, he corrected himself - a winding polished hardwood staircase leading up to a second floor. Looking up, he saw the shiny chandelier dangling from the vaulted ceiling. Wow! This place was very impressive. "So, where are your parents?" Xander asked.

Cordelia looked away. "Well…" She turned back to face him. "My mom is upstairs resting. And my dad's not home."

Xander's forehead wrinkled in confusion. "Wasn't I supposed to meet them tonight?"

"You were," Cordy admitted. "But I think they kind of forgot. My mom's sick, you know, Epstein-Barr and dad's really busy at the office." Believe me, Xander, she thought. Or at least pretend to.

"Oh," Xander said, breathing a sigh of relief. He didn't really want to meet her parents, although her excuses were a little lame…

"I have to get my purse," Cordelia said, abruptly changing the subject. She turned on one heel and headed for the stairs. Xander followed. She spun around to confront him. "Xander! You can't follow me up to my bedroom."

He wanted to make a witty remark, but his nerves were recovering, and hers didn't look like they could take it. "You're not going to give me the tour?" he asked, hoping he looked innocent.

"Whatever." Cordy said, continuing her journey up the staircase. Once again, Xander followed. "These are the stairs," Cordelia explained unnecessarily, hoping that was enough of a tour.

As they reached the upstairs hallway, Cordelia heard a thump and a crash from her mother's room.

"What's that?" Xander asked.

"Nothing," she replied quickly. "My mom must have dropped something. I'll check it out." She hurriedly opened the door.

"Mom?" Cordelia queried softly, entering the darkened room. She tried to shut it the door behind her, but Xander's stuck his foot in the door to keep it open a crack. "Ow!" he exclaimed as she slammed the door on his foot.

"Cor-elia?" her mom's asked. "Izzat you?"

"Yeah, mom, it's me."

"That you boyfriend?" her mom slurred. "Andrew?"

"His name's Xander, mom." She couldn't make eye contact with her boyfriend. What would he think of her after having met her mother? By the dim light of the hallway, Cordelia walked over to the side of the bed. She picked up the glass, which had fallen to create the thump-crash noise the teenagers had heard.

"Whaevr," the garbled word was all her mom said before falling back to sleep.

Cordelia carefully set the glass back on the nightstand before pulling the covers up around her mom. "Goodnight, mom," she whispered.

From the doorway, Xander just watched. He had known Cordelia's mom was sick, but she sounded like she was drunk. And spending so much time around his own family, he knew drunk when he saw it. Poor Cordelia. He had never thought of her living a life like the one he had. In his mind, she was the precious princess, living with the king and queen up in the castle. When meeting Cordy's parents, he had never expected their warts to be so obvious. And she had never let on what was going on in her life, not even to him.

He saw Cordelia take a deep breath. Meeting his eyes, she straightened up, as if steeling herself for his words. If her parents really were like his, then she wouldn't want to talk about it. < Let's just move on, > he thought. "Ready to go?" Xander asked.

Cordy was shocked. Xander wasn't going to mention her drunk, drugged out mother? She sighed in relief. "Let's go."

The two teens headed for the stairs when they heard the front door open, followed by a high-pitched giggle.

Oh no, Cordelia thought. Please don't let this be what I think it is… rather, who I think it is. Xander already knows about my mom and her problems, please don't let this be…

"Are you sure it's safe for me to be here?" A woman's voice asked.

Still in the shadows of the upstairs, Xander moved closer to the railing, one eye on Cordelia, who had a horrified expression on her face. He saw a fortysomething man with dark hair, wearing a dark suit. He vaguely resembled Cordelia. Must be Cordy's father. Isn't he supposed to be working late? Then Xander spotted the other visitor to the Chase home. She was blonde, built, and barely older than Cordelia herself.

Cordy's father spoke. "My wife's probably passed out by now, and my daughter's out for the night. There's no one here to catch us."

The blonde looked around, staring appreciatively at the expensive furnishings. "Nice place."

"I'll just get my wallet and then we can go." Mr. Chase put one hand on the blonde's waist and dragged her to him. He kissed her deeply before heading for the stairs.

Cordy gasped. She didn't want her father to know she was still here. And she definitely didn't want him to know she and Xander had seen his latest Barbie-doll bimbo. She grabbed Xander's arm and tugged. She couldn't move him unless he wanted to, but he willingly followed her back into the shadows. Quickly, Cordelia pulled Xander through a doorway and quietly shut the door. The two stood in silence for several long minutes as they heard Cordelia's father go past them into another room, then back down the stairs. They heard the two adults laugh before the front door opened and shut again.

Cordelia turned around, looking at the moonlight spilling through the windows of her designer blinds. Still in the dark, she walked over and, with a sigh, sat down on her bed.

Xander looked around. In the dim light he could make out Cordy's shadow, sitting on a lace-covered canopy bed. Even in the shadows, he could tell this was his girlfriend's room. Lipstick, nail polish, and other unidentifiable cosmetics were discernible on the vanity, bathed in the glow of the moon on the mirror. A shelf on one wall held shadowy trophies.

He looked everywhere but where he really wanted to. Xander didn't know what to say to Cordelia. What could he say to make it better? When he had started out this evening, he had no idea it would end this way. Her mother was a junkie and her father was a Don Juan. He never would have guessed. Cordelia never gave away, not for one moment, that there was such pain behind her perfectly coiffed exterior.

"Cordelia," he began. He had to say something.

"What do you want me to say, Xander? That I have lousy parents? That after insisting they meet my new boyfriend they forgot all about it? It's true."

Xander's eyes widened. He hadn't wanted to upset Cordelia, just see if she wanted to talk about her parents, talk about how she felt.

"My dad is always 'working late,'" she continued. "And I use sarcastic quote marks. That usually means he's at some fancy hotel doing the horizontal mambo with his latest 'assistant.'" She took a deep breath, standing up to face him. "My mom isn't really sick. She doesn't have Epstein-Barr or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome or Chronic Hepatitis. She's addicted to painkillers and nerve pills her so-called doctor gives her. When my dad doesn't come home, she adds vodka to the mix, so on top of that, she's drunk, too. It's gotten so bad that I'm scared that one night she'll take too many pills and won't wake up the next morning." She saw the shock in Xander's eyes, but pushed on, her voice getting harder and more hostile with every word. "I try to take care of her but I can't. And I can't talk to my dad. He just tells me not to worry. Then he gives me money, and tells me to go shopping while he goes back to his bimbo-of-the-week." Cordelia stopped, mid-rant, trying to stop the tears that were welling up.

Xander just stared. What could he possibly say to this? Nothing he could say would make up for the fact that her so-called perfect life was really a nightmare behind a pretty façade. But he understood… His life didn't have the beautiful shell hers did, but he knew all about drunk parents and family fights. Walking over to the bed, he put his arm around Cordelia. As she settled her head on his shoulder, he made his own confession. "My Dad's a drunk. Falls asleep most nights with a bottle of vodka in one hand. Yesterday I found him passed out in the backyard in a pile of mud. My mother didn't do anything about it because she was watching TV. That's all she does. Soap operas, Jerry Springer, the Home Shopping Channel…I've even caught her staring in awe at the Weather Channel. Know why I've never gotten in trouble with my late-night Scooby Gang activities? Neither of them ever notice if I'm home or not. And don't even get me started on our fun family Christmases. Egg nog with twice as much rum as nog. Dad and Uncle Rory screaming at each other in drunken rage while Aunt Millie falls asleep with a cigarette in her hand and sets the Christmas tree on fire. Oh yeah, lots of fun in a typical Harris holiday."

Cordelia remained silent, tears quietly dripping down her face. She turned, wrapping her arms around Xander as he held her close. "I didn't think you'd understand," she said softly.

"Yeah, I do." He pulled her closer, enjoying her warmth. The fleeting thought crossed his mind that he was finally alone with Cordelia in her bedroom, and what was he doing? But what they both needed right now was comfort. "Hey, if your family's Christmas is anything like mine, you're welcome to join me in my sleeping bag Christmas Eve."

Cordelia laughed. "Thank you, for understanding. And for making me feel better."

Xander unwrapped himself from her arms, stood up, and offered his hand. "Come on. If we hurry we can still make it to Sunnydale Cinema for the 8:00 show. Maybe they'll be playing something really cheery like 'Apocalypse Now.'"

Cordelia stared at him, then broke out laughing. Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad night after all.

Hand in hand, they exited the room.