First Date
By Deanie
February 2003

Rating: PG-13 (for mention of kinky sexual situations)
Fandoms: Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Anita Blake
Originally written for The Next Level Quickie Challenge (http://tnl.moonlitpaths.com), though it doesn't qualify because of excess length.
Disclaimer: Dawn, Willow (and everything Buffy) belongs to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.
The crew from Anita Blake's universe belongs to Laurell K. Hamilton.
Author's Note: Timeline for this story: in the near future, after Dawn's 18th birthday and graduation from high school. She's currently going to college in St. Louis. For the AB-verse, after NiC.
Thanks to: my betas Sin and Carol.


"I don't think I can do this." Dawn paced the length of her small bedroom, cordless phone in hand.

Though hundreds of miles away, Willow could still feel her friend's anxiety. "It's just a date, Dawn, not the apocalypse. It'll be okay."

"Do you remember my last date?"

"The guy who tried to kidnap you because your sister's the slayer?"

"No."

"The football player whose magic jacket turned us into his love slaves?"

"No."

"The guy where he turned out to be a vampire and tried to bite you?"

"Not him, either."

"Oh, the guy who tried to sacrifice you to summon the demon Niehoff?"

"That's the one. Though, now that you mention it, the rest of my dates haven't exactly been stellar either."

"It's the Hellmouth, Dawn. It ruins all of our social lives, remember? I dated Moloch, the demon I accidentally scanned into the internet. Buffy and Cordelia dated those frat guys who tried to sacrifice them to the demon Machida. Your mom dated Ted, who was really a homicidal robot. And then there's Xander… who hasn't dated a normal human yet. You're in St. Louis. Not demon central. It's got to be better there."

Breathing deeply, Dawn sank down on the bed. "You're right. It's going to be okay." She tried to will herself to believe it.

"That's better," Willow replied. "Now, tell me about this honey of yours."

Dawn smiled. "His name's Nathaniel. He's shorter than I am, but he's really cute. He's got the most gorgeous violet eyes, and this long, silky auburn hair. Very sexy. Plus, he's really sweet. He sent me flowers. No guy's ever sent me flowers…well, except for Angel, 'cause he couldn't be there for graduation…but that doesn't count, 'cause he's like a big brother."

Willow held back a giggle. She must really like this guy to be babbling like that. "Does he go to school with you?"

"Uh… no." Dawn had a moment of panic. Could she tell Willow the truth? How would her surrogate big sister react to the idea that "Little Dawnie" was dating a stripper? "No. He works. At a club."

Okay. Not too bad, Willow thought. "He's a bartender? A waiter? A deejay?" Dawn's silence was beginning to worry her. "Dawnie?"

"He's a dancer… an exotic dancer." Dawn closed her eyes, and waited for Willow's shocked yelp.

"You're dating a stripper?" Willow asked incredulously. That was the last thing she'd expected.

"He's a really nice stripper."

"Sorry, Dawn." She needed to try to keep an open mind for Dawn's sake. "That just really wasn't what I was expecting."

"I know… but he's not like what you'd expect. He's just a nice, sweet, sexy guy."

Dawn, dating a stripper. She could deal. "Okay." Breathing now. Air was good. "Well, at least he's human." Total silence. "Dawn?"

"He's not exactly human."

"He's not a vampire, is he? Because I know the kind that's there in St. Louis isn't all demony and inherently evil and stuff, but they're still dangerous. Not good."

"He's not a vampire. He's a were-something. I don't know what, exactly, because he hasn't told me. He hasn't even told me he's not completely human. I think he's worried about what I might say. But I could tell. Must be some kind of leftover Hellmouth instinct."

"Oh. Wereanimals aren't necessarily bad. Unless you're out on the full moon and he tries to eat you." Willow had had that distinctly unpleasant experience herself, when Oz had first discovered his wolfiness, before they'd started locking him up for the full moon.

"They're supposed to be a lot more in control here. Something about the Hellmouth making their control go all wonky."

"Oh good. Control is very good." Willow hesitated. After the answers she'd gotten, did she really want to ask Dawn anymore questions? No, but she was the surrogate big sister. It was her responsibility to make sure that Dawn was safe, and she couldn't do that by sticking her head in the sand and ignoring the fact that Dawnie was about to go on a date with a were-something stripper. "What are you two doing tonight?"

"We're going by his place to meet his friends, then out to dinner."

"You're meeting his friends already? Wow."

"I think it's a were thing. I have to meet the leader of his pack, or whatever they call themselves." She rested her head on one hand. "Unless I just cancel this whole thing."

"Dawn, no!" While Willow wasn't overjoyed by Dawn's choice of a were-something stripper, it was clear that the younger woman really liked this Nathaniel person. She shouldn't throw that away because of fear.

"Willow, it's going to be a disaster."

"It's not, Dawn. Just think positively. You're in a whole new world now -- anything can happen."

"Okay. Assume you're right and everything goes great. What do I say when he wants to know all about me? 'Hi, I'm Dawn and I'm from the Hellmouth. Oh, and by the way, I've only been human for six years now. I have memories from before that, but they were planted by a bunch of monks who made me out of mystical energy so that my 'sister,' the Slayer, would protect me.'"

"Uh… maybe that should wait for the second date."

"Who am I kidding? This is never going to work. He's gorgeous. Women throw themselves at him. He could have anyone he wanted. Why would he want to deal with me?"

"Just give it a chance, Dawnie. Maybe he'll surprise you, and understand, even after you tell him about the weirdness of your life."

"Or maybe he'll think I'm a freak and run from the room in fear."

"He won't. I know it. Now, you have to get ready for your date." She cut off Dawn's protest. "You can't see it, but I'm wearing my resolve face. Which means arguing is futile. You're going to go out and have a great date, okay?"

"Okay." Dawn nodded.

"Now, onto the important stuff… what are you going to wear?"

****

Anita's eyes followed Nathaniel as he paced, back and forth, along the length of the living room. She'd never seen him like this before. "Nathaniel," she called. Lost in thought, he didn't hear her. "Nathaniel!"

He stopped and looked up as she yelled his name. "Stop pacing."

"I don't know if I can," he admitted nervously.

"If you keep this up you're going to wear a hole in the carpet … and with the gunshots and bloodshed, my repair bills are already astronomical."

Nathaniel sank down on the couch, his head falling back into the plush cushions. He closed his eyes. He couldn't do this. This date… it was too much, too good. It was never going to work.

"Stop that."

"What?" He looked up at Anita. What was he doing now?

"Stop thinking that things are going to go badly tonight. You don't know that."

"It's never going to work. Dawn is too… she's special. She's beautiful, and smart, and funny. She's so confident and independent. What could she possibly see in me?"

He looked so lost, almost like he had when she'd first taken him in. Anita walked over to the couch, putting an arm around his shoulders. "She sees a warm, sweet, sexy man who cares so much that he's making himself sick over it." He settled his head on her shoulder as she stroked his hair. "It's going to be okay, Nathaniel."

"She's so…normal. Not just 'cause she's human… but…"

"Because she's not into the whole S&M, dominance and submission thing?"

"Yeah. She's normal. I haven't been normal in so long, Anita. I'm not sure I know how to behave with anyone who's not as screwed up as I am…"

"You're going to be fine."

Suddenly, he got up, walked across the room and stood, looking out the window. "Okay. What if I am okay? What if you meet her, and think she's great, and Dawn and I have a great date?"

Anita looked up, puzzled. That would be good. His point was…

"Then before long we have a second date, and a third date. And somewhere along the line I have to tell her what I am. What if she has a problem with me being a wereleopard?" He knew that among some people, prejudice against 'shifters ran strong. "Then there's my past as a porn star and a prostitute. And even if she understands that, how do I explain us?"

Now she understood. Her relationship with Nathaniel was unusual by anything other than master vampire standards. And his Dawn was certainly no vampire.

"How do I explain you and me? Jean-Claude? Micah? The ardeur? How do I tell my girlfriend that I sleep in another woman's bed so she can feed off my sexual energy?"

"Nathaniel..." Anita's voice trailed off. She didn't know what to say. She'd never thought about how their relationship would affect his social life -- mainly because he hadn't had one since she'd had the ardeur. She walked over to him and placed a hand on his back. "We'll work something out. If Dawn is really this important to you, I'll figure something else out. I want you to be happy, Nathaniel."

"I think she could make me happy. That we could be happy together."

"We'll work something out," she reassured him. "Now, don't you have a date to get ready for?"

He nodded.

"Then go get ready. And don't worry. I'll make sure everybody is on their best behavior tonight."

****

Nathaniel held Dawn's hand in his as they approached the door to Anita's rental house. He could feel the gazes of his fellow wereleopards as they peered out from behind curtains and out of windows. Dawn didn't seem to notice them, thankfully.

She stopped suddenly, unable to force her legs to go on any further.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't think I can go in there. What if they hate me? What if they don't think I'm good enough for you? What if…"

He silenced her with a kiss. His lips were gentle on her own, lightly pressing against her tingling flesh.

"It's going to be okay," he reassured her, acutely aware that he was parroting Anita's words from earlier in the day. Her nervousness was endearing, actually. He'd never dreamed that anyone so smart and self-possessed would get herself tied up in knots over him. "They're going to love you."

"Right." Dawn nodded. If only she could remember how to breathe.

Nathaniel tugged on her hand, pulling her towards the front door.



Anita sensed something off the moment the girl walked through the door. She had power… or was power… She wasn't like anything Anita had ever seen before, but one thing she knew -- Nathaniel's new girlfriend wasn't human. Given his past history, she was likely very dangerous.

Anita swiftly pulled out her Browning, aiming it at Dawn. "Nathaniel, step away from her."

"Anita?" His eyes widened. "What are you doing?"

"Step back, Nathaniel."

"Why?"

"She's not human."



A gun, Dawn thought. A gun was pointed at her. With bullets and everything. She knew she should have listened when her instincts had told her tonight was going to be an unmitigated disaster. "This can't be happening," she muttered, oblivious to the occupants of the room " Of course it is. I should have known better than to think I could have a normal date. I'm cursed." Then she thought of her earlier conversation with Willow… about her, Buffy, Xander, and their love lives -- or lack thereof. "We're all cursed. None of us are ever going to find happiness."

Her breathing got heavier with every word, and she had to gasp to draw in air. She started to see dark spots dancing before her eyes. She hoped they weren't the bullets that were going to kill her.

"Anita," warned Cherry, the pard nurse. "She's going to pass out."

Nathaniel moved in closer to Dawn.

"Nathaniel," Anita warned.

"No!" he protested, grabbing Dawn by one elbow and leading her to a nearby chair. "Anita, I know I've given you reason to doubt my judgement before, but not this time. I don't know what you think she is, but Dawn isn't evil."

"Put her head between her legs," Cherry instructed. "Have her take slow, deep breaths."

Nathaniel rubbed her back, speaking soothingly in a soft voice as Dawn sat gasping, her head down between her knees.

Dawn concentrated on the sound of his voice, slowing her breathing to match his dulcet tones. She could do this. She had to stay conscious. Who knew what the crazy woman with the gun would do if she fainted. "I'm okay," she reassured Nathaniel, lifting up her head until she could look into his beautiful violet eyes. She glanced over at the crazy woman. Yep, still had a gun pointed at Dawn. Okay. She could do this. She said a quick prayer that this Anita person didn't kill her. Or that at least, if she did, that Dawn would come back as a ghost and haunt Anita until she died.

"You're not human," Anita stated. "What are you?"

"I am human. 100% perfectly human," Dawn insisted. The monks had made sure of that. "At least I am now."

Nathaniel looked up at her from where he crouched at her side. What? She wasn't human? She'd seemed so normal. Then her words registered. "Now? You mean, you didn't used to be human?"

She wanted to cry as she saw the fear and hurt in his eyes. Nearly did as he stood up and took a step away from her.

Ignoring Anita -- potentially not too smart, since the other woman held a gun in her direction -- Dawn looked up at Nathaniel. "I would have told you eventually, but this isn't exactly first date kind of stuff."

"But…" he protested.

"There are things you didn't tell me, either," she reminded him. "Some things I can sort of guess at, and others… You're not exactly human either."

"You know?"

"I've got a sort of supernatural sixth sense. Maybe it was all those years of living on the Hellmouth."

"You lived on the Hellmouth?" This came from the tall, yellow-haired man that she'd met once before. Zane, she thought his name was.

"Let's get back to the didn't-used-to-be-human part." Anita's arms were getting tired from holding her shooter's stance for so long, so she lowered the gun a little. Dawn didn't look like she was about to attack. She'd take her chances and assume she'd be fast enough to get her gun back into position if the girl were truly evil and attacked them all. "What were you before?" Anita asked.

"The Key." The group stared at her, confused. Dawn continued. "I was mystical energy with the power to open portals between dimensions."

Anita stared. She was what? Energy? That was definitely not what she'd expected Dawn to say. In fact, of the many ideas she'd had, that wasn't even on the list. "You're energy?"

"I was. Now I'm human. Just plain old Dawn."

"How?" Nathaniel asked, moving in closer to his date. He knew Dawn. Being afraid of her was stupid. She'd never hurt him, and it was tearing at his heart that he'd let her be hurt by bringing her here.

"These monks, they made me out of the energy. Sent me to Sunnydale so I could be safe. You see, this hell-goddess had been banished from her dimension, and wanted to use The Key to open a portal to her world. Only her doing that would open a hole in all realities, breaking down the barriers until they coalesced into one big hell dimension."

When she looked back at him, she had the feeling that they were the only two in the room. Anita and her gun, the rest of Nathaniel's "friends" - none of it mattered. All that was important was her and Nathaniel, and making sure he understood. "They sent me to Buffy, made me her sister so she'd want to protect me. She was the only one who could - because she's the Slayer. One girl in all the world… and all that jazz. And she did it. Kept me safe. She died keeping me safe."

"Died?" Nathaniel was even more confused. Dawn had told him how Buffy kept calling from Sunnydale, nagging, unable to accept that her little sister was all grown up. How could she do that if she were dead?

"She was brought back to life by magic," Dawn explained.

"Your sister's a zombie?" he asked incredulously.

"Nope. Not a zombie. Fully alive. Same old Buffy. It's complicated." Dawn stopped, nervously looking down at her hands, still clasped in her lap. "Now you…and all your friends… know my deepest, darkest secret." She looked up at him. "How's that for a first date?" she said in a slightly quivering voice.

Nathaniel closed his eyes. So far she'd been held at gunpoint and forced to confess her innermost secrets in front of total strangers. Not quite the first date he'd had in mind. How could they have done this to her? Dawn was so sweet, so caring, and what had he done? Brought her to a place where she was scared and humiliated, while he hid behind the shield of his pard, not revealing anything at all about himself. But there she sat … cool, calm and in control. Aside from a brief moment of panic when first confronted by the gun, she'd been the same confident, independent girl he'd come to love.

There was no way for him to make this right. There was one thing, however, that would make a start. Time to level the playing field.

"I'm a wereleopard," he began. "We all are. Well, except for Anita. She's… different. But she's our leader. Just wants to look out for us, especially me." He gave his Nimir-ra a rueful smile, watching as she finally holstered her gun. He crouched down in front of Dawn, and took both of her hands in his. "You see, I need a lot of looking after. That's why you had to come here, and meet Anita and the pard. I… I'm not very good at looking after myself… I'm getting better, but…"

He closed his eyes. He had to do this, had to tell her, in front of everyone. It was the only way they could be on anything close to common ground. "Gabriel, our former alpha - former leader - was a real bastard. He was into pain, and made sure that the rest of us were too." Was she getting this? Or was she truly to innocent to understand?

"Gabriel and Raina use it… used us… used me. Making their pornographic movies, pimping us out to anyone who'd pay for it. Shapeshifters can take a lot of damage. Makes us ideal for someone with certain… needs."

He looked up, expecting to see condemnation and disgust in her eyes. Instead, he simply saw concern. He almost began to hope… then stopped himself His confession was far from over.

"I was… into it, that is… I liked the pain…got off on it - literally." Her eyes widened as she realized exactly what he was talking about. "A big part of me still does… or would, if I were allowed to. You see, I haven't made great choices in sexual partners. I wanted someone to dominate me…hurt me… to the point where I didn't know how to say no anymore. I almost got myself killed several times…almost got everybody else killed when they came to rescue me. So now all my dates have to be screened by Anita and the pard, to make sure I don't get myself in too much trouble with the wrong date."

Dawn sat, stunned. He'd been a prostitute? In porn movies? She didn't know what to think. "You don't have to…"

Nathaniel silenced her with a wave of one hand. "I'm not done. You were forced to tell us things you shouldn't have had to tell anyone, so I can't do anything less. Okay?"

Dawn nodded.

"I've also been what vampires call a pomme de sang. A person who willingly offers him or herself to feed them."

Dawn gulped. She could deal with a freaky sexual past, but willingly feeding vampires? The only person she'd known to do that was Riley, when he was so screwed up he was paying vampire prostitutes to bite him. Not nearly the same thing, but…

Nathaniel wanted to recoil at the horror in her eyes. But he had to finish it. "There's more."

"More than that?" What could possibly be worse than that?

"Vampires don't just feed on blood, at least certain vampires don't. Some can also feed on energy and emotion… like fear, or lust…" His words trailed off. How did he tell his girlfriend that he slept in another woman's bed so she could feed off his lust?

Her mind was reeling with all that he'd told her. But if it was worse than feeding a vampire blood… fear wouldn't be too bad, almost expected, what with the fangs and biting and all…so it must be lust… "You're also letting some vamp feed off your lust."

"Sort of."

"Sort of?" Dawn asked quizzically. It either was or wasn't… how could there be a 'sort of?'

"What he's trying to say," Anita said, taking pity on the young wereleopard, "is that he's not feeding a vampire. He's feeding me."

Okay. Now this she really wasn't expecting. "How? You're not a vampire?"

"I'm part of a triumvirate of power with Jean-Claude, vampire Master of the City, and Richard, the leader of the local werewolf pack. We're…psychically bonded, for lack of a better word, and through those bonds I'm developing the powers of a master vampire. I have vampire servants, leopards are my animal to call, and I've somehow managed to acquire the ardeur."

"Okay," Dawn said, still not understanding. "Color me confused."

"It's a need, a compulsion to feed on lust. I can't fight it, not for long, or it'll consume me. I'd go crazy, attack strangers on the street, do anything to satisfy the ardeur. I can't control it without feeding it. So, I have friends, people I care about, who let me use their lust - their sexual energy - so that I can have some modicum of control around others."

Dawn simply sat, stunned by this additional revelation.

"I know," Nathaniel commented. "Not exactly the kind of thing a girl likes to hear about her boyfriend."

"I… I don't know what to say." She looked up at Nathaniel. "What do you expect me to say… or do?"

"I don't know." He shook his head before reaching out one hand to pull Dawn to her feet. "I'll take you home now."

Still trying to deal with the surprises she'd gotten tonight, Dawn let herself be pulled to the door by Nathaniel's gentle touch. Could she do it? Could she leave him, knowing that this was likely to be the last time she would ever see him? No. Her answer was no. Whatever happened, she wasn't ready to let Nathaniel go yet. Because he'd told her everything when he didn't have to, knowing that she might not be able to handle it, just so she wouldn't be the only one who'd shared all her secrets. She smiled.

"Stop." She pulled him around until she was looking into his gorgeous lilac eyes. "I don't know how to deal with everything that you've told me tonight. I don't know if I'm okay with everything, but I do know that I care about you…more than I've cared about anybody in a long time. And I'm not ready to let it go now."

"Really?" Nathaniel was stunned. She knew his darkest secrets and still wanted to go out with him?

Dawn took his hand and turned back to look straight at Anita. "Did I pass? Can we go now?"

"You're still going out with him? After everything?" Anita asked, surprised by Dawn's response.

Dawn turned to Nathaniel. "Are you going to eat me? Bespell me? Sacrifice me to a demon and/or hell-god?"

Nathaniel shook his head, a bit surprised by her words. "Has that actually happened to you?"

"You haven't dated on the Hellmouth until you've dated someone who's tried to kill you."

Anita smiled. Dawn was okay, and she had a feeling the girl could be good for Nathaniel - assuming she got past his baggage. "Go. Have fun."

With that, Nathaniel and Dawn exited the house, hand in hand.