Breathe
By Deanie
March 2000

Disclaimer: Tracy and Vachon don't belong to me. They belong to James Parriott, Barney Cohen, Sony/TriStar. I'm just borrowing them for a while...and they'll be returned when I'm done putting them (well, mainly Tracy) through the emotional wringer. I'm not making any money off of this, so don't sue. No copyright infringement is intended.

“Breathe” was written by Holly Lamar and Stephanie Bentley and is sung by Faith Hill on the CD “Breathe.”

***

Peace. I’ve never felt such a profound sense of peace and contentment. For this moment, all is right with the world. In fact, the outside world doesn’t even exist – it was all reduced to the two of us and that moment in separate reality just for us. I don’t even want to open my eyes. Maybe a part of me is afraid that if I do, this will all go away and just be a dream. But I don’t need to see…just to feel.

It must be morning, because I can feel the sun’s generous light floating through the windows to saturate the air of the loft. Its rays strike my body, warming my skin like his love warms my soul. I should get up, face the day, accomplish something productive instead of wasting the day vegetating here on the couch, but I’m not going to. Today, there are no jobs, no deadlines, no tasks to finish. Today is just for enjoying each other.

Lying here with my eyes closed, all my other senses are so much sharper. I can smell this combination of scents. Partially his aftershave, partially just whatever unique tang makes him Nick. It’s familiar and comforting and makes me feel so safe. I can’t really hear anything, just the hum of the refrigerator. But it’s wonderful. No clanging of instruments, buzzing of the autoclave, chatter of fellow employees. No nasty Nightcrawler monologue invading our lives through the airways. Just Nick and I, and our heartbeats. I’m still so amazed every time I hear his heart beat, steady and regular, like a normal human.

I open my eyes, reassuring myself that everything was real. I twist a little in his arms, pulling back just far enough to be able to see his face. He looks so peaceful, almost like a little boy while he slept. He’s got a contented smile on his face, like he’s in the same place I was, where all is right with the world. Smiling, I let my eyes close again, and snuggle closer to his body.

I settle my head down on his chest, positioning myself just right to hear his heartbeat. I can actually hear Nick’s heartbeat. It’s just the most amazing feeling to even know he has a heartbeat. We worked for so long, and so hard to find the cure. And in the end, it was so simple. All we had to do is love each other and trust in our love. And slowly, things began to change. And here we are, a normal human couple, just lying in the sun, wrapped in each other’s arms.

My dream come true as I lie in his arms and listen to him breathe.

And I can feel you breathe, it’s washing over me
Suddenly I’m melting into you
There’s nothing left to prove, baby all we need is just to be
Caught up in the touch, the slow and steady rush
And baby, isn’t that the way that love’s supposed to be
I can feel you breathe, just breathe