by Deanie
October 1999
Disclaimer: Nick, Nat and Sydney don't belong to me. They belong to Parriott, Cohen, Sony/Tristar, etc. Characters you don't recognize (i.e., Natalie's old boyfriends) do belong to me and shouldn't be used without my permission (but who would want to use them?).
This story takes place before the first season, a few months after Nick and Natalie met in the morgue. They're working on the cure, but are still polite strangers. Nick has recently joined the Toronto police force.
The story is told in first person from Natalie's perspective.
Oh, any resemblance between Natalie's ex-boyfriends and those of my friends' and mine is entirely coincidental.
***
Take it like a man, steady and strong
Not a lot of fuss and carrying on
True to a promise I can write in stone
Take it like a man who knows about love
Every little thing that a girl dreams of
Someone wise enough to understand
If you want this woman's heart,
Take it like a man
-- from "Take it Like a Man" by Michelle Wright
I strode into the room, and roughly pulled off my short velvet jacket before balling it up and throwing it to the ground.
"Ugh!" I yelled. Yet another horrible date. What was it? Was I cursed? Destined to date losers throughout all eternity?
Sighing, I went over by the door. I shouldn't take out my anger on my poor coat, even if I did buy it to wear to the symphony with Jeffrey. Besides, it looked really good with my black velvet dress. "Not that I'll wear it a second time," I muttered, hanging the coat up in the front closet. "Because I am never dating again."
Sydney, obviously sensing his mother's distress, snuggled his fuzzy body up against my legs. Picking him up, I walked into the kitchen. Funny how the most reliable man in my life was my cat. "If you were human, Sydney, I'd marry you in an instant." I set him down, putting fresh water in his bowl. "Even as a cat you're better than the losers I seem to date." He deserved a treat for being the most faithful man in my life, I thought, getting him a kitty treat.
I walked over to the refrigerator and looked inside. A carton of cottage cheese, a six pack of diet cola, and a moldy bagel greeted me. "This is sad, Sydney. Even looking at my refrigerator you can tell I'm single." In the door of the refrigerator was a bottle of champagne I had been saving for a special occasion. "Escaping that date calls for a celebration," I said, picking up the bottle. I hesitated, then put it back. "Nah, this is beyond champagne - it requires chocolate." I opened my overflowing freezer, jumping out of the way to avoid being hit by a falling TV dinner. "Attack of the killer lasagna," I muttered, putting it back in the freezer. Digging behind the stacks of frozen dinners, I found my quarry - a half-gallon of Double Chocolate Fudge Chip.
Bypassing the cabinet with the bowls, I pulled a spoon out of the drawer. With Sydney following, I went in and sat on the couch. "What is it with me, Sydney? Is there something wrong with me? Why do I seem to get all the losers?" I sighed, taking another bite of ice cream. "This one...this one takes the cake. He was a lawyer - successful career, good future...He seemed so nice at first..." Stabbing the spoon in the ice cream, I stared down at Sydney. "I had no idea he was so...kinky...I'd tell you what he wanted to do, Syd, but you're too young to know about those kinds of things." Besides, I'd never subject my baby to such filth.
"I'm cursed. That must be it. Or I give out some special pheromone that attracts weirdoes and losers." Taking the ice cream with me, I went into my bedroom to change. Alas, my dating history was full of losers, beginning with Lewis in high school. The only boy who had ever asked me out, he had seemed so much like me. Smarter than the rest of the class, kind of shy and socially awkward…but even he wasn't interested in me -- only interested in playing doctor in the back seat of his dad's car. Typical teenage boy stuff, I said? I still had hope. Even these immature boys would have to grow up someday, right?
Wrong, I thought, slipping out of my black velvet dress. There was Phillip in college, who tried to plagiarize my research project and pass it off as his own. And he was only the beginning. I took another spoonful of the comforting chocolate concoction. Lately I seemed to be dating world-champion losers. There was Jeffrey, the kinky one; Peter, who needed to know where I was twenty-four hours a day; Craig, who 'needed his space'; Trey, who 'forgot' to mention he was married; Doug, who talked about nothing but his ex-wife...not to mention Scott, who was hiding a drug problem and a police record. I could go back years and still not find one nice guy.
Sighing, I pulled my sweats out of the dresser drawer. I had almost given up on finding that one special person...the one who would love me for who I was. Someone who wouldn't care that I didn't look like a supermodel...that my job involved cutting up dead bodies and I frequently smelled like formaldehyde.
Like most little girls, I fantasized about the prince who would come and sweep me off my feet. Someone who was tall and handsome and rode away with me into the sunset on his white horse...Unfortunately, as I got older, those foolish dreams of childhood had to die. I slipped into the comforting warmth of my favorite fuzzy sweats. Grabbing the ice cream, I went back out to the living room, Sydney at my heels.
As an adult, thought I was loathe to admit it, I fantasized about my prince as well. He'd be someone with strength of character; someone noble and honest, who kept his word and didn't use me for his own purposes. A man who didn't whine when I had to work late or when I was beeped in the middle of a date. Who didn't want me to be his maid or cook or laundress. He would be capable of sharing my burdens as well as dumping his own on my shoulders. He'd be romantic and bring me flowers for my birthday, and be a man who liked to cuddle in front of the fireplace on a cold winter's night. Someone who would make love to me like I was the only woman in the world, the only woman he loved and wanted...like my pleasure was more important than his own.
I settled down on the couch. Yeah, right...like this guy, this prince existed outside of my imagination. He certainly wasn't Jeffrey...or any of the other guys I had met lately...except...
"No, he's a patient," I murmured through another mouthful of ice cream. Not to mention being a vampire. Now there was a relationship destined for failure...I mean, he was gorgeous, no doubt about it. And he was protective, worried that he would hurt me. He showed up for our meetings on time, put up with my endless questions and blood tests. He wouldn't always answer me, but he never lied. He was really trying to make something of his life, to find some noble purpose - even joining the police force...despite the irony of a vampire homicide detective.
I gave the Double Chocolate Fudge Chip a look of disgust. While it did make me feel a little better, ice cream was no way to solve my problems. All it would do is make me five pounds heavier in the morning.
So, dislodging Sydney from my lap, I got up off the couch, and returned the ice cream to its proper place in my refrigerator -- behind the killer lasagna.
Tonight was worthless, I thought. I should just go to sleep. Picking up Syd and turning off the lights, I trundled off to my bedroom...with one man still on my mind.
I would not let myself fall for him. I had problems with guys with thirty years of emotional baggage - I couldn't imagine the burden that would come with hundreds...And he was a patient. I was his doctor. He had an interesting problem I was trying to solve. I was trying to help him, not seduce him.
I settled myself in my bed, curling up under my comforter. Sydney climbed up on the bed, nestling next to me.
As I drifted off to sleep, my last thoughts were of Nick. I wouldn't let myself care about him, couldn't love him. Still, fantasies never hurt anyone...
Author's Notes: I was driving in the car, and this song came on. Suddenly, I was hit with inspiration and compelled to write (luckily I had just pulled into my parking space, so I wasn't writing and driving at the same time). The story practically wrote itself (which doesn't happen to me very often).
Back to the Nick and Nat fic
Back to the Forever Knight fic